Day of the results

Two days later I was asked to come into the doctors office, he looked distraught but at that time I paid no attention to his body language, I was in my own world thinking of other thoughts.

He and the nurse brought me into his office and started to interrogate me some more about my family history, now it wasn't just breast cancer history, it was cancer in general if anyone in my family has had any? I told them what I knew, then they quickly rushed me to get more testings to be done on me, things such as;  a more deeper form of biopsy taking out a larger amount of tissue, MRI, mammogram etc. they had an idea but wanted to be certain a 100% before breaking the news to me. The news at that moment I was far from thinking of it coming.

Here I was sitting on that chair listening to the news I never in my life thought I would hear. I am 26 years old, I had no history of breast cancer in my family, I did not show signs on my breast besides the lump, had been diagnosed with what is known to be Invasive ductal carcinoma (DIC) stage two breast cancer. Luckily they said we had detected it early on. My head was spinning I could not grasp what I was hearing, I felt my world crumbling down on me, I couldn't get up, I lost all sensation in my legs, I could feel my stomach turning upside down I was feeling sick, how? why? surely this was a mistake, isn't it? they both sat besides me comforting me talking about the next steps to be done now, at that moment I could hear them talking, but my soul was no longer in my body, I was floating watching this whole scene happening, it felt surreal, a nightmare waiting for someone to wake me up. I wanted to scream but instead an uncontrollable set of tears started to come down my face.

The first thought that came to mind, it wasn't the cancer part, it was my family. How do I break the news to them, my friends, how do you tell your loved one's you've been diagnosed with cancer? I was heartbroken, and more worried about them than myself. I called the first person who was dear to me, he comforted me and told me all will be alright, although he like the rest of us was now shocked, this was news the last thing on our minds. None the less he pulled himself together and gave me words of strength and courage. I still did not know how to break the news to my mother, who was anxiously awaiting for my phone call with the results of my biopsy. I asked my doctor to give her a call, I couldn't bear to do it myself, I just couldn't. My mother called me short after hearing the news, in a weird way I was expecting her to be mad at me, yet she was not after all I was her daughter, I can tell from the tone of her voice she was trying to hide the sadness and pain, she was being very gentle and said she couldn't wait till I got home.